Carnivorousness

If you come in my cage I'll eat you too!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Jamel's lemonade stand

On Sunday my neighbor Jamel, who is now 7, finally cajoled me into helping him with his lemonade stand. He had been begging me to help, for days, but it was unseasonably hot and I was lazy. On Sunday, it was only 91 degrees and I got a burst of energy. I could take that heat. So we set up a Lego table and Jamel made the lemonade and the other neighbors gave us balloons from their open house and cookies to give away with the lemonade. We set up on the neighbor's lawn.. There weren't a lot of people walking by, so Jamel decided to go and get the customers. Anyone he saw parking way up the street was fair game. Few people he accosted refused to buy lemonade. One of the guys reluctantly came over to the table and told me that Jamel, "Was a hell of an outside salesman!" Jamel, who is Black, but has been raised by whites, does not use ebonics. There was a group of Black teens walking across the street and Jamel yelled, "Do you want to buy some lemonade?" One of the teens yelled back, "We cool." Jamel yelled, "What?" Again the kid answered, "We cool!" Jamel pointed his finger at the teens and said, in his very correct English, "I guess I'll take that as a no!" The nicest thing was that people were coming and sitting on the lawn with us and one lady invited us to a birthday party for her kids.

The guy whose lawn we were on is a former drug addict, who needs a liver transplant. He is very nice, but has bad friends and he is being evicted. We all feel bad for him, but are kind of glad to see him leave. He has a bunch of junk sitting outside his house. The other day I took a big cedar trunk and put it outside, by the street, with a "free" sign on it, because I didn't want to have it sitting in my yard. It wasn't out there long, before my neighbor took it and put it in his front yard. I complained to Jamel and said that I gave it away so that it wouldn't sit outside, get ruined and be an eyesore, which it was now doing in the guy's yard. Jamel told me that, "They really, really, want it!"

As we are sitting at the lemonade stand, a van pulls up and a couple get out. The woman is an older Latina in ethnic garb, looking like Frida Kahlo and the guy is a slick white Liberal in a Panama hat and a cool dress shirt with little squares with pics of Che all over it. The lady walks up and asks if we are having a yard sale and I say "No, a lemonade sale." She says, "I want to buy that trunk, I thought it was for sale." I groan and say, don't I wish, and I tell her the story. My deceased mom had made me the trunk and stenciled pictures of cats on it. I felt guilty about getting rid of it and now this, I can't sell it, or give to someone that really wants it, because it is sitting in my neighbor's yard and it's part of his junk collection now. The lady put her arm around me and gave me a hug. If only she had known I was a Republican, I don't think she would have been so nice. Anyway the guy in the house came out a little later without his shirt on and his pants hanging off his ass. He asks us what's going on. He says, " Here you guys are, partying on my lawn, and I'm already in trouble with my land lady!"

8 Comments:

At 10:52 PM , Blogger John Doe said...

If she had know that you’re Republican, probably she had forced you to eat crude lemons!!! And probably she asked you if you were abusing of an poor black kid. But I doubt you had let her to do and say those things, really.

By the way, what kind of people are you, sons of Oakland?

http://www.dailypuppy.com/index.php?itemid=332

How do you treat these God’s wonderful creatures?

 
At 9:08 AM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

I know, I am keeping the minorities down, es mi trabajo, Yo soy una diabla blanca!

 
At 9:10 AM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

J.Doe, I want to get a border terrier puppy for Devil dog to chew on, oops! I mean luv!

 
At 7:58 PM , Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

Miss C, my new favorite Californian. Arent race and stereotypes sooo much fun? Seriously, thats not sarcasim, everyone take note here. By acknowledging the sad but true realities of life regardless of what groups look bad as a result. All you nutty super liberals need to lighten up. (in general I mean of course)
Miss C, I think you might enjoy this
http://whisperofmadness.blogspot.com/2006/07/bell-curve.html

 
At 11:10 PM , Blogger John Doe said...

I suspect Devil Dog have to be a lonely guy...

PD: I love leonbergers. Someday I'll have one of them. And if you are asking yourself about it, the answer is no, your dog and my dog won't play together!

 
At 1:33 PM , Blogger Leilouta said...

"We cool" ??? hahahaha..I've been wanting to collect some of those slang terms. My favorite one that I hate is 'Axe' intead of 'ask'... aaaah!!

 
At 12:46 PM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Here's another bit of slang Leila, I work at the Li-bary, not the Li- brary

 
At 10:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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