Library employees are also psychiatric nurses!

I have a totally psychotic homeless friend who periodically threatens to kill me. I have known this guy for 19 years. I first met him when I got the job at the library. I moved into a tiny studio apartment 3 blocks from the library.I lived in a very bad neighborhood. At night I would hear lots of shooting and once I came home and some guys were beating the crap out of a guy that lived in my building, because he owed them drug money. He was all bloody, but they stopped beating him up long enough to let me pass.

Another time I went to open the front door of the lobby and it wouldn't open because there was a drunk guy passed out and stopping the door. I was bummed in, so to speak. I had to keep pushing very hard to move him enough to get out the door. I called 911 and the police came and helped him up. Later, the rumor went around that the police had beat up a homeless guy, because the guy had a bloody head. I knew that he was already bloody, before the cops got there.

Another time I was sunning myself on the roof (it was usually me and a totally bald, light skinned Black girl who wanted to be dark skinned) and helicopters starting flying over me. I hear the clang of someone climbing up the fire escape and a SWAT guy pops up his head at me and says to his partner, "It's a redhead, she's sunbathing!" Then he asks me if I've seen a Black guy come up here. I said, "No, I would surely have noticed!" So he goes clanging back down the fire escape and I get up and look over the side and there is SWAT climbing all over the place and looking in every window and the basement. So I get the idea I should go inside. My cats learned to tell the difference between gunshots and firecrackers. If they got freaked, I would hit the floor fast. My mom hated this neighborhood, in reality her neighborhood was just as bad, but she was used to it and didn't see the threat.

One night my mom came over to eat and I walked her to the bus stop to wait until she got on the bus. I had a gun that turned out later to jam when fired and it was lucky we never needed it. So my first meeting with this insanely psychotic homeless guy happens when my mom and I are waiting for her bus to arrive. The guy comes up to us, it's getting dark and he says, "You got any money?" My mom thinks we are being robbed already and gets her face on. I say, "No, we don't have any money!" Then the guy says, Y'all act like I want your pussy or somethin" I don't want your pussy, I just want your money!" Of course to me, this is very funny, but my mom is horrified! He wanders off and my mom is afraid to get on the bus and leave me alone, but I actually take the guy at his word. That was only my first meeting of many.

He would come into the library a lot and we used to have a Christmas food giveaway for the homeless. There was a Black Church lady that hosted the giveaway, until the recipients showed themselves to be less than grateful and less than civil. Now she concentrates on giving away school supplies for low income kids. The crazy guy came one Christmas and asked if we were giving away food and I told him, we were. Then he asked, in a very unsure tone, "They gonna give me some?" as if he was not worthy. I told him, sure they would. He is not a reader so he doesn't really hang out in the library and read magazines or newspapers, he generally goes in and out and uses the restrooms. He hangs out down at the Post Office, kickin' it on the grass and chillin'. He lies on his stomach, which looks weird and kind of Beetle Juicy, for some reason. He does not drink and is physically very healthy. Mentally is another story. I suspect he is on heavy doses of anti-psychotic medications. When he is not taking them, whoooaaaa, look out.

A few years ago I was walking to the bus stop and he was lying on his tummy, on the concrete, near a parking lot. I looked at him in bewilderment, as he is not usually on the sidewalk, but on the grass. He saw me and hopped up and started yelling, "I'll kill you bitch, I'll kill you!" I held up my hand to placate him and hold him off. I kept repeating that it was OK and trying to edge past him. He ran into the parking lot and began to duck and weave and pop up from behind cars, yelling that he was going to kill me. I got past him and was quite shaken up. A few weeks later I saw him looking fairly normal again, in front of the Post Office. He ran accross the street toward me and started saying, "I want to apologise for the other day, I wasn't feeling quite myself." I am thinking, well, if you weren't yourself, who the hell are you then? I told him that he had frightened me badly. He said he would not do it again, but of course he has.

For the past 4 years he has been increasingly erratic in his behavior. Sometimes I will buy him breakfast at a breakfast cafe or lunch at MacDonald's. He is prone to running out into on coming traffic and screaming at cars and at me. He's great when he's on his meds and terrifying when he's not. I saw him last week, lying on the sidewalk in front of the breakfast cafe, twisting and rolling around and I ran by quickly, hoping he wouldn't see me. It's best to avoid him when he's not himself!