Carnivorousness

If you come in my cage I'll eat you too!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I have a confession to make

I have been a bully and a tyrant. A co-worker of mine recently retired. Last night I dreamed of him. This morning, overwhelmed by sadness, I had to admit something to myself and it isn't pretty. I was guilty of abusing this co-worker, because of his liberal ideology.

For 20 years this guy would come to visit me in my cubicle and take me to lunch, usually for Sushi, always paying, during which I would engage in insane rants. Blaming him personally, for every ill that had befallen me at the hands of liberals. He would pipe in once in a while in defense of his beliefs. He would always say there was nothing wrong in being devoted to social change. But it was a no win situation, as that would just start me off on another crazed tangent

During our lunches he gazed at me benevolently and probably fantasized about stopping my mouth in the time honored tradition. I would be conscious of my offensive behavior but couldn't seem to stop myself. It's one thing to rant to other conservatives on my blog, but totally unacceptable to abuse a faithful friend. He is a humanist in the truest sense of the word and not deserving of such abuse.

I think I would do this because I knew he would still love me. Now that he is gone, I realize how wrong it was.

Sometimes I feel myself unlikeable. Sometimes I am unlikeable. I know that I am an exciting and vital person and that is why many people forgive the major glaring flaws in my personality. Also, for many years I have gotten by on my looks.

My ex-boyfriends mom once said to me, "Stop being so miserable. You make everyone around you miserable!" Nuff said! I promise in the 45th year of my life, to try and be a better person.

5 Comments:

At 1:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey There....very insightful. It's sometimes difficult to "look in the mirror" and recognize our behavior towards others. And, as you pointed out, we often justify it or rationalize it in one way or another.

I've often thought that married couples, or those in long term relationships, suffer the same fate. That being that they always think that other person is going to be there for them so they can treat them however they feel like at the moment.

We can't all be perfect, but we can recognize our faults and try to be better people. Supposedly, that is what seperates us from the animals.

 
At 4:38 PM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Thank you for that Brad. I am a bigot against liberals! Not good at all.

 
At 8:53 AM , Blogger seejanemom said...

I find blogging to be a great sublimation of my daily urges to strangle Liberal and idiots in the real world.

And was this the guy who said he'd read my blog even though he was a Lib?

If it is....then you call his happy ass up and buy him a steak and apologize. He has the taste enough to hang out with bitches like us...he deserves to be treated with some respect. Dammit.

;)

 
At 2:37 PM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Jane, you are neither old nor a bitch! You are an experienced and discerning woman! In France you would be worshipped as the goddess you are. That's the only good thing I have to say about the French!

 
At 8:13 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

All women are goddesses ...

Or at least the ones that have given birth are.

Isn't that what God does ... create?

 

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